


A Backlit Mirage

by RebelliousBees



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Also RIP timeline, Angst, Gen, Misunderstandings, Past Child Abuse, Tags May Change, The Gaang finds Zuko in Ba Sing Se, The Jasmine Dragon (Avatar), The beginning and end are fun, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, also bad words, be warned, because zuko, it's an angst sandwich
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24514375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelliousBees/pseuds/RebelliousBees
Summary: The Gaang decide they could use a break from the general agony that is living in Ba Sing Se, so they wander into the first little tea shop they see. It's the Jasmine Dragon, and Zuko decides, nope. This is not his problem; he is not dealing with this. Thank you very much. He is Li, not Zuko, and he has no idea what you're talking about.He still has to deal with it. His life would have been easier if he had just fessed up in the first place.
Comments: 106
Kudos: 819





	1. A Surprise Encounter

Okay, so maybe Zuko doesn’t notice the Avatar until he’s right next to the boy. In his defense, he’s pretty much fresh out of a spiritual coma and at the end of a very long shift, and the Avatar didn’t notice him either. 

He had walked up to the next table on his round, watching his feet. Tripping over a customer is not the sort of mistake one is eager to repeat. Once he’s made it safely to the table, he looks up and sees a table full of children. A table full of children he knows. A table with the Avatar, his water tribe hangers-on, and the Blind Bandit. Shit. Plan, Zuko! How are you going to get yourself out of this one?

There’s nothing for it.

“Welcome to the Jasmine Dragon. Are you ready to order?” Game face on. Maybe they could all just play this cool. 

“ZUKO?!!”

There was no way that scream hadn’t caught the attention of one of those Dai Li creeps. He’d chased the Avatar for months. He knew the boy made Zhao seem subtle. What had he been expecting, honestly? 

This is fine. He could save this. What would Uncle do? Three years in close quarters with the man meant he knew the answer to that. Uncle defeated his enemies with unyielding invitations for tea. 

Zuko channeled his best imitation of the ‘I am completely ignoring the reality of this situation and you will too if you know what’s good for you’ smile that Uncle had used on him so many times and prepared to take down his enemy. 

“You must have me confused with someone else. My name is Li. Would you like a menu to help you make your decision?”

He hadn’t smiled this hard for this long at any point in living memory. It was painful and painfully awkward. He was being stared at. Oh shit, and Uncle was coming out from the back. Shit. Damage control time. 

“Uncle Mushi!” Oh Agni, that was way too loud. Shit. He was so fucked. “Sorry for the noise. These kids thought I was someone else, but the confusion is all cleared up now. No need to worry.”

Well, at least he knew he’d correctly guessed what Uncle would do in this situation. He put on the smile that Zuko had been aiming for and did what he was best at, bullshitting. 

“Well, Li, I am glad you could clear up the confusion. All that noise was quite concerning. I was afraid you’d broken another teapot.” Rude, Uncle. “Still, we are quite busy, so please take their orders as quickly as possible. Perhaps you could suggest something since it is their first time here?” Uncle then gave a neat head tilt toward the Avatar and friends and made what must have been a surprisingly hasty retreat for people who didn’t know him, disappearing back into the kitchen. 

The Avatar and crew were looking at him with somehow more horror on their faces than when they’d first recognized him. He was a little offended. He’d been incredibly polite this entire time! And then he had a terrible idea, but really, Uncle had suggested it, and if they were going to be rude, why shouldn’t he be rude right back?

“Suggestions, huh?” Zuko hadn’t really given up his hunt for the Avatar until recently, and the gossip one could get in Ba Sing Se was unbelievable. Especially if one was willing to dress in all black and sacrifice a few nights’ sleep hanging out on rooftops, listening to Dai Li agents who thought they were alone. 

“For the water tribe girl who went all the way up to the North Pole to start a fight with an old man, Chamomile.” When Zuko had heard about the Northern masters’ prejudice, he’d had the startling realization that there might actually be some people who might benefit from meeting his younger sister. Still, it was way funnier to phrase it like this, or maybe he wasn’t over Gaipan. Most of the people may have survived, but that had been no thanks to her. It also didn’t change the fact that they’d lost everything. That had been a small town deep in the wilderness of the Earth Kingdom colonies. Those people had had a long journey to the nearest city where they could beg for their dinner, but Li was an Earth Kingdom refugee and couldn’t be angry about things like that. Petty jabs were the best he could do, now. 

“For the water tribe boy with the cactus juice addiction, Ginger.” Honestly, the boy was probably his favorite of the group. Most of the time he was actually quite clever, and Zuko always had a soft spot for people who were passionate about real weapons, like him and Mai. The tea probably would help him, cactus juice had a nasty tendency to linger past its welcome. 

“For the girl without any shoes and the largest collective bounty on the head of any Earth Kingdom citizen, Lychee?” She was wild. The youngest member of one of the richest families alive, who’s parents would pay to have her safely returned to them. A legendary competitor in earth bending competitions, many of her opponents had posted bounties for her head. Not to mention the price the Fire Nation was willing to pay for the Avatar’s earth bending instructor. The best part was that if one played it correctly, the bounties weren’t actually mutually exclusive. Her age protected her from a truly legendary number of assassination attempts. It was a good thing she was on the move all the time now. Plenty of the less savory crowd considered a person fair game once they hit their teenage years. Still, she’d probably already fended a few off. Although, maybe her parents’ security was as good as people say, and she’d actually been protected inside those walls. 

“And for the oath-breaking Avatar, Darjeeling, definitely.” He was never going to be over that. He was such an idiot. The Avatar had agreed to go with him, and Zuko had trusted him. His crew had wanted to celebrate their imminent homecoming, and against his better judgment, he’d allowed everyone not on duty to do so. He hadn’t hiked up security or made anyone pick up extra shifts. He’d been so excited. He was going to be back in time for Ty Lee’s birthday, and he hadn’t actually heard that she’d gone to join the circus yet. He’d been single-minded in his information collecting back then, and since he hadn’t even found the Avatar yet, no one from the Fire Nation went out of their way to keep him updated. It was political, and possibly literal, suicide to contact someone the Fire Lord had thrown away. Then the Avatar broke his word and left. Zuko had been devastated. 

The look on the kid’s face now was going a long way towards making it up to him, though. With a satisfied smirk that was much more genuine than the smile from earlier, Zuko moved on to the next table.  
___

“Did you see his creepy-ass, Joo Dee smile?” Sokka needed to confirm that he wasn’t the only one experiencing this. Every day he was more and more convinced that he really had caught Midnight Sun Madness and these were his dying hallucinations. “And he definitely shouldn’t know half of those things.”

“The Dai Li must have gotten him” Sokka hated that he could tell that the way Toph was cleaning her feet was smug, but he also knew her well enough to know that she was hoping the impropriety would distract him from what he’d just heard. They would be having words about that bounty tidbit.  
“Wait, who are the Dai Li?” Right, back on track, Sokka. It is a dark day when Aang is the one asking the important questions. 

“Living with you guys has given me a new metric by which to measure stupidity.” He knew Toph hadn’t really had any socialization before she met them, so he couldn’t get mad. Still, sometimes her insults sting just a bit more than he thinks she means them to. He knows she doesn’t mean them like that, and at least after her insults, she doesn’t make him play the guessing game like Katara is prone to. She’s willing to just go ahead and explain. “The Dai Li are the shadow government of Ba Sing Se. People who get on their bad side disappear when they're lucky. When they’re not lucky, they come back, but they come back wrong. It’s like the lights are on, but no one’s home. Some cases are mild, missing memories, and altered personalities. People like the Joo Dee are the least lucky. They’re hardly even people anymore, just Dai Li puppets. 

“People who get taken away always come back terrified, even if it’s buried under artificial calm. I can tell. Li,” she makes a face when using the name, but it’s hard to tell what it means. Sometimes her expressions don’t quite come out right. “Li is afraid enough to have been taken, but it’s not full-proof. Some people are just like that, constantly on edge.”

“We should help him,” Aang didn’t even hesitate. Sokka wished he would. 

“Aang, we absolutely are not helping,” Katara stumbled a bit in her self-righteous tirade when she had to choose a name, but recovered admirably, “Li. After all that he’s done? Are you crazy? He’s one of them. We can’t trust him.”

“Katara,” Yue, this was Aang’s ‘you’ve disappointed me’ voice. It had no right to be as effective as it was. “I know we’ve had disagreements in the past, but we’re all here now. Maybe its destiny.” Well, now he was honor-bound to disagree. Destiny was cruel and could drown itself and was not allowed to make Sokka’s life decisions for him.

“No, Aang, as much as it pains my soul to have to say it, my little sister is correct. If the Dai Li have gotten to him, we should leave him that way. He’s already inside the walls and was apparently causing enough trouble to have gotten caught. This city is people’s last hope. We have a duty to them not to set potential enemies loose in the city. If we were still traveling by ourselves, maybe, but it’s not just our lives on the line. I’m sorry, Aang.”  
___

Zuko goes to the kitchen, strategically does not see his Uncle’s concerned glance, drops off dishes, and picks up more tea. He does his next circuit of the shop and has calmed down by the time he finds himself headed towards the Avatar’s table again. Although, perhaps his definition of calm is slightly skewed. Uncle had mentioned something about that more than a few times. 

His calm flies out the window as soon as he actually looks at the Avatar’s table. The children, warriors, he reminds himself, are hunched over the table, having some sort of intense whisper discussion. They keep shooting him creepy glances. Have they been doing that the whole time? Deep breath. It doesn’t matter. He’s literally just dropping off their tea. 

Smile, he remembered, Uncle said it was important. It hurt his face, though. 

“Here is your tea. If you need anything you need only to ask. When you are finished, please wait at the table by the door to settle your bill.”

He wasn’t supposed to make customers flag him down. He was meant to check on them periodically. He couldn’t find it in him to care. Uncle would forgive him, probably.  
___

“Creepy.” Another fair assessment by his sister. Two in a row. That shouldn’t be allowed. 

They drink their tea in silence for a few minutes, but it’s hard to stay depressed with such good tea. The Dai Li had found Zuko’s one true calling, apparently. 

The rest of the table slid into casual chatting, but Sokka just couldn’t find the will. Wasn’t Zuko the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation? Ba Sing Se risked the full focus and rage of the Fire Nation if they ever found out what they’d done, and besides that, Zuko had known some weirdly specific details about their lives. If he was a puppet, then that information was almost certainly known by the entirety of this secret police organization. Maybe they were the ones who had given it to Zuko. 

When Zuko had weird amounts of information, Sokka tended not to worry about it. The Fire Nation royal family clearly didn’t play by the same rules as the rest of these mere mortals, but now, Sokka had to consider that they were somehow being spied on. It should be impossible, the one thing he didn’t have to worry about, by nature of their traveling habits. And yet, Zuko had to have gotten that information somewhere. There was nothing to be done without more information, so he put a pin in it. 

Maybe he should just stop fussing altogether, but it wasn’t in his nature, honestly. And there was plenty to worry about. With Zuko an almost soulless husk, apparently, that must mean his crazy little sister was next and maybe last in line once they defeated Ozai. Sokka didn’t like her or Zuko, but he hated one of them a lot less. Would the Fire Nation accept a ruler that wasn’t either of those two? He’d have to find out. 

Ugh. He missed the days when he didn’t have to worry about having a real impact on who was the next Fire Lord. Or Lady? He hadn’t even known Ozai’s name before he left home. It was a gift he hadn’t known he’d been given until it had been revoked. 

Stupid Fire Nation. 

And then they were leaving the Jasmine Dragon, and Sokka wished he could say they wouldn’t be back. Someone needed to keep an eye on the situation, though, and as the companions of the Avatar, apparently, these types of things were their problem now. Besides, even if he did try to avoid this, he had to admit, for all he hated destiny, it seemed to love him. 

He would see Zuko again, one way or another.  
___

Zuko hoped he never saw any of them again. 

They paid; they left. Life went on, but still, he was unreasonably relieved when it was finally time to close up shop. 

He and Uncle made their way through Ba Sing Se’s twisty roads to their new apartment. It was nice. He liked being able to have his own space, unlike in their old apartment, but he was also never too far away from Uncle like he often had been when they lived in the palace. It reminded him a bit of his ship, but those were painful memories, these days, so he tried not to think about it too hard. He’d been trying not to think about any of his past too much, but his luck had always been terrible. Still, the Avatar hadn’t fought him on sight, and he supposed that was more than he could really have expected. 

Uncle made tea, of course. Usually, though, they had tea with dinner after having changed out of their uniforms. Clearly, Uncle didn’t think this conversation could wait. 

“After I corrected them about my name and you went back to the kitchen, they drank the tea I chose for them, paid, and left. They hardly said a word to me. What do you think that means?”

“You have spent more time with them than I have, Nephew. What do you think it meant?”

“I know how much you love your tea shop. I don’t want to lose that, but if they’re going to turn us in, I don’t want to still be here when the Dai Li arrive. They could have just wanted to avoid causing a scene in public.”

“Perhaps, but a leopard does not change its spots”

Always with the provers, but at least this one was common enough for him to know what it meant. The Avatar and his posse wouldn’t know subtlety if it bit them. Their first reaction to seeing him was to shriek in the middle of the tea shop. They wouldn’t have given one flying fuck about causing a scene. He still didn’t know what they were playing at, but Uncle really did love it here. Where would they go if they left, anyway? He and Uncle would just have to wait and see, his least favorite thing to do. 

Worse, Uncle had already had this figured out probably before the children - dangerous warriors, not children, not really - had even left the shop. Just like Pai Sho, he was always ten steps ahead. There wasn’t even any reason to continue this conversation, really, when they both knew how it was going to end. Still. 

“For the record, I hate this plan.”


	2. Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting up a Zuko-watch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to break this up into smaller chapters because otherwise, updates are going to take 20 years.

The walk back to the house was quiet. Their Joo Dee had made it very clear that matters of the war were not to be talked about in the public spaces of Ba Sing Se.

Entering the front room was a kind of surreal experience. They were all much better actors than they used to be. As soon as they were through the door, their postures straightened and tensed, and the peaceful expressions slipped from their faces. Sokka gave himself a moment to regret it. He wished he could have protected them from having to know how to lie like this. He wished someone could have protected him from it, but thoughts like that weren’t helpful. 

“Alright, so we now have three things on the to-do list. Continue to look for Appa. Figure out how to get an audience with the Earth King, and now, new thing, figure out what we’re going to do about Zuko.”

There was a short, considering silence, which Katara broke. 

“Do we need to do anything about Zuko? If the Dai Li have taken care of him, can we not just leave it at that?”

Which, tempting, but, “Katara, are you seriously suggesting we trust the government of Ba Sing Se to handle something with efficiency and competency?”

Her shoulders slumped, which was answer enough. Unfortunate, though, because it meant the answer was up to him. 

Alright, so they couldn’t rely on the government to do anything. The obvious answer was for Katara and him to ‘take care of it’ themselves. Aang might be a pacifist, but they weren’t. There were a couple major problems with that plan, though. 

First, Zuko was a terrifyingly good fighter, and a firebender. While the authorities would surely step in once a real fight began, Sokka had no way of knowing if they had the resources or training to put out a city fire once it had started, and while the buildings in the Upper Ring were fairly spread out, one unlucky breeze could spell destruction for the Middle and Lower Rings. 

Aside from the worry of getting impaled or burning down the entire city, their group had already gotten in trouble for breaking some minor laws while looking for Appa and had gotten their petition for an audience with the Earth King delayed. If they broke Ba Sing Se’s greatest law, and gave its richest citizens an object lesson about how very inside the walls the war really was? They’d be lucky if they weren’t evicted from the city. And if someone tried to make Aang leave the city without Appa? Well, then at least they wouldn’t have to worry about Zuko burning the city down, the Avatar will have reduced it to rubble. 

Besides, he might not even really be Zuko any more. Hopefully, he wasn’t Zuko any more. It looks like they were going to just have to wait and see. Zuko wasn’t patient, if he didn’t attack soon, then they could be fairly certain it wasn’t him. If he did attack, they’d have an excuse - and no choice but - to kick his ass. 

“Alright, so what we’re going to do is set up a rotation. One of us will spend the day watching Zuko. One of us will spend the day seeing if there’s a faster way to meet the Earth King. One of us will spend the day looking for Appa. The last person has the day off, or can choose to help with one of the other duties as necessary. Sound good?”

There’s a round of nods and sounds of agreement. 

“I call first!” 

“Absolutely not, Aang. You’re the one Zuko wants most. I’ll go first, and if it seems safe, then you can go.”

“Fine, Katara. I’m going next, though! Besides, I'm the Avatar. I can take Zuko.”

“Well I’m not going last, so I call third!” 

“Whatever, Toph, I’d say we saved the best for last. ”

Yeah, maybe he wouldn’t have chosen to go dead last, but it did give him time to figure out how he wanted to approach this. If he had to face Zuko first, without a plan, he may have had a very quiet breakdown. Katara always had been the brave one out of the two of them.


	3. Katara’s First Shift

Zuko sets out to the tea shop earlier than his uncle. Uncle had offered to come with him about a hundred times, but Zuko liked to let him sleep in. It made more sense, anyway, for him to come early and prepare the shop to open, and then Uncle could slip in the back and start on the tea just in time for it to be warm as the first customers were trickling in. 

The Water Tribe girl is there when he arrives, which is less than ideal, but not really very surprising. 

Still, seeing her this morning, he remembers the feeling of polar waters, of hiking through a storm. He remembers slamming into the snow as his vision went black. He remembers a dark sky, and a man he had known since childhood being dragged under the waves. 

Seeing her reminds Zuko of how cold he is. Uncle acts like he doesn’t feel it, but Ba Sing Se is often near freezing. Sometimes he’s tempted to reach for his bending, but he’s never been known for his fine control. All it would take was one mistake, one flame he hadn’t meant to make, and he and Uncle would be in danger. 

He shivered, and let himself and the water tribe girl in. He flipped a chair down for her, and started in on his opening duties. 

She doesn’t talk to him until the shop is beginning to fill up with customers. He happens to walk by her and near drops his teapot when she reaches out and grabs his arm. 

“You haven’t made any of the rest of your customers wait this long to be served.”

Shit. Think, Zuko. If you were Li, why would you not have served her? Oh shit. 

“I thought you were just here to make sure I wasn’t this Zuko person,” which was the truth, but would Li have thought that? “You all just seemed really distressed when you thought I was him.” 

“Well, I’m still a customer, and you still should have offered me some tea!”

Right, deep breath. She bought it. He wasn’t about to get water-whipped into his next life. Yet. 

“Of course,” was a bow too much? Too late now. “My apologies. What can I get for you?”

“What you served me last time will do.” 

“Right. It will be right out.”

He brings her the tea, and makes sure to check up on her just like the rest of the customers for the rest of the day. She asked for refills a few more times. Occasionally, she pulls out water from the skin always at her side and waterbends in a way that feels vaguely threateningly. 

The sun is shining, but it’s still so cold in Ba Sing Se. It’s Zuko’s least favorite thing about the city, which in a city like this, is no easy feat. 

Shortly before closing, he swings by her table for what should be the last time. Her teacup is empty, but she doesn’t ask for a refill. 

“Zuko, why are you here, working in a tea shop of all things? How did you even know we’d be coming to Ba Sing Se?”

Right. It wasn’t really a surprising thing for her to ask, and she seemed calmer than she had been this morning. He could do this. All he had to do was channel his inner Uncle. Smile, and bullshit. 

“I’m sorry, my lady, but I really don’t know who this ‘Zuko’ is. If you’re looking for someone who you think might have also made their way to Ba Sing Se, I heard there’s a form you can fill out with the division of population affairs.” 

She gives him a strange look. He smiles harder. It hurts.

“Right, thank you. I’m ready to pay now, please.”  
___

As soon as Katara enters, Toph knows she’s been completely won over by this Zuko/Li kid. She can feel it in her posture. Her relaxed stance and slightly slumped shoulders were making it clear she was no longer mentally preparing herself for a fight as she had been since they’d first been to the tea shop. 

“Alright, Sugar Queen, spill. How was it?”

“Weird. He was perfectly polite all day. The only time he acted strangely at all was when I accused him again of being Zuko, and he didn’t react like I would have expected him to. He just got that creepy smile and those dead eyes as he denied knowing who that was.”

That may have been helpful to sighted people, but it didn’t tell her much. What did dead eyes even mean, honestly? Still, Zuko had pretty much been the opposite of polite the few times she met him, and the others had told her that he had actually calmed down since she joined the group, which didn’t really seem possible, but whatever. 

Sokka speaks up. 

“You know, I’ve been thinking about it, and it does kind of make sense. Mushi is definitely the sort of name you give somebody as a punishment.”

Katara and Aang laughed, and it was a pretty good joke, but Toph wished Sokka would just say what he meant sometimes. 

“Sokka, explain.”

He always seemed surprised when she asked him to elaborate. She was pretty certain by now that it was because neither Aang nor Katara had ever bothered, and he’d just gotten used to being in charge of the group’s brain cells all by himself. It was nice that Aang and Katara trusted him that much, but she imagined it must have been kind of lonely. Besides, she didn’t like being left out of the loop, so she made sure to prod Sokka into actually laying things out for them now that she was here. 

“Well, think of it like this. The best fake names are those that don’t draw attention. Mushi is such a strange, awful name that it does the exact opposite. It might make sense if you’re trying to pull a double bluff, but Zuko and his uncle look so Fire Nation, it would be smarter for them to try and avoid notice completely.”

“Well, maybe they’re just not that smart.”

She could answer that one. 

“Aang, Zuko’s uncle is considered to be one of the best generals of all time. He’s not an idiot.” 

Aang deflated a little after being so bluntly shot down, and Katara put a hand on his shoulder. Gross. 

“Well, Aang, this means it should be safe for you to take your turn tomorrow.”

“Hey, that’s right!” Aang floats off the ground a bit again. “And then we’ll basically know for sure. There’s no way Zuko could stop himself from chasing me unless something was seriously wrong.”

Actually, that sounds like a reason they should keep Aang well away from this guy. Sure, Aang could defend himself if he needed to, but he would definitely cause a scene. As if they needed the government here to have another excuse to stonewall them. Well, at least if something happened, it was sure to be entertaining. That was what she loved best about traveling with these guys: never a dull moment. Too bad it was her turn to look for Appa tomorrow, she would have liked to watch this go down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've set up a tumblr for my AO3, where I'll post spoilers, talk about update progress, and talk about things more in-depth if anyone wants. 
> 
> [Here It Is](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/rebelliousbeesao3)


	4. Aang’s First Shift

When Zuko gets to the shop in the morning, the Avatar is already there. 

He takes a deep breath, ignores all of the Avatar’s attempts at greetings, slips into the shop, and leaves his problem outside. 

He spares a thought for Uncle, who is definitely going to have to help him with the manual labor of opening the shop today. He usually tries to spare him that, but he needs a minute this morning. 

He passes the main room and slips into the kitchen. There’s an oven they never use from before they moved in. The sun shines in a neat square on the floor in front of it. He opens the oven, and lights a small fire inside. 

He sits in Agni’s light, and matches the flickering of the flames to his breathing. It’s a risk he doesn’t usually like to take, but the fire is contained and fairly well hidden. This morning, it’s worth it. 

This is hardly a proper household shrine, but it will have to do. He prays for guidance. He used to think that his frequent run-ins with the Avatar meant that Agni was shining his favor upon Zuko’s quest, but his constant failure seemed to point to a different answer. 

Agni wasn’t a cruel spirit. Capturing and keeping the Avatar in the middle of Ba Sing Se wasn’t something Zuko could do, so surely, the Avatar and his bison’s appearances in the city must mean something else. 

But if Agni didn’t want Zuko to get to go home, then what did he want? And why?

Breathe. 

He just won’t let the Avatar in until his uncle gets here. 

Right. Okay. That was that problem dealt with. Time to douse the fire and start opening the store. 

When Uncle comes in, he doesn’t ask any questions, just grabs the broom and starts picking up Zuko’s slack. 

Zuko hates the quiet. He never knows what to do. Should he start explaining himself? Father hated when he made excuses, but this was important information. 

“Uncle, the Avatar is outside.”

Uncle doesn’t even pause in his sweeping. The quiet confidence is reassuring. 

“If we make a move against him here, we will surely be destroyed, Prince Zuko.”

Why did Uncle even bother with that title? His status may not have been officially revoked yet, but it was only a matter of time. 

Not the point.

Uncle was right. Their circumstances were too precarious to act against the Avatar. 

One word, and he and Uncle would be horribly murdered, at best, by the Dai Li, or perhaps the Avatar would kill them himself. The Air Nomads really were pacifists, he had learned when he visited the temples, but the last of them didn’t seem too loyal to those ideals. Or perhaps he just didn’t think people from the Fire Nation really counted as people. He would hardly be the first to think that way. 

Zuko remembers the bones of children, scattered by the wind spirits who didn’t understand why no one played with them anymore. Then he remembers bloated bodies, floating in arctic waters, being picked apart by albatross-vultures. 

He and the Avatar would always be enemies. 

The broom clatters as Uncle leans it back against the wall. The Avatar knocked at the door. 

He didn’t have to like the Avatar, but for Uncle’s safety, he could do this.

Zuko opens the door, and the airbender kicks up a breeze as he skips to a booth. Zuko pulls his changshan tighter, chilled. 

“Can I have a different tea this time? The last one made me all jittery.”

“Of course, sir. Do you have anything specific in mind?”

“Surprise me.”

If he was going to be in the store all day, he was going to be served the most calming teas they had. All that bouncing got old, quick.

Zuko gets to his rounds, and maybe he doesn’t stop by the Avatar’s table as much as he should, but he does stop by. He doesn’t want a repeat of yesterday. 

“Hey, Li. Have you ever been to Kyoshi Island?”

Oh, shit, where is Li from? Is he well-traveled? Oh Agni, better hope that’s not where he’s going with this. 

“I can’t say that I have.”

“Oh. Well, you remind me of their esteemed warriors.” 

What the fuck?

“Thanks?” 

He hadn’t really meant that to come out as a question, but he would like an explanation. The Avatar does not give him one. He looks disappointed, like Zuko had responded incorrectly, but what under Agni’s light could possibly have been the correct answer? 

Whatever. Zuko refills the Avatar’s cup, and heads to the next table. 

When Zuko comes around the next time, the Avatar is apparently ready to try again. 

“You know, as the Avatar, I’ve been chased all over the world. The best at it so far has been Admiral Zhao.”

What the fuck? Was that a flex? Is he bragging about killing the man? 

Secondly, is he saying Zhao is better than Azula? Agni, he wishes he could tell her that. It would be worth whatever she did in revenge. Holy shit. 

Problem. What is he supposed to say in response to that? Uhh. Shit. Smile, and bullshit. 

“Admiral? Like in an army? How strange. There is no war in Ba Sing Se. More tea?”

Well, clearly the Avatar recognized that phrase. He’d gone stiller than Zuko had ever seen him. Sweet. 

Although, something was twitching in his shirt. Had the Avatar really been allowed to bring his lemur into the city? Of course he had. Zuko missed his ostrich-horse. They had bonded. She had been a good girl. 

Whatever. Zuko refills the Avatar’s cup, and heads to the next table. 

The next time Zuko comes to the table, he’s a little frustrated. A woman had brought in her kids, and they were running around the shop. They had almost made him spill tea on himself twice now. 

“Hey, Li, have you ever heard of the Blue Spirit? I heard he’s considered a traitor to his country.”

What the fuck? Was that a threat? Was he threatening to turn him in to the Fire Nation instead of the Dai Li? That was deeply impractical.

He knew the Avatar was weird, but even the frog thing paled in comparison to today’s conversations. 

What was the correct response to a threat like that? Wait. Li wouldn’t know that was a threat. What would Li say to this?

“Did he have a good reason to turn traitor?”

Was there any such thing?

“No, I don’t think he did.”

Rude. Rude, and ungrateful. What the fuck? 

Whatever. Zuko refills the Avatar’s cup, and heads to the next table. 

The next time Zuko checks in on the Avatar, he’s meditating, sitting in the exact same position as he was when Zuko first found him at the North Pole. 

Zuko gives his table a wide berth. 

The Avatar continues to meditate right up ‘till closing time. 

Zuko closes the shop around him. He stacks the chairs. He sweeps. He goes to the back and helps Uncle with the dishes. When they’re done, they head into the front together. 

The Avatar is still there. 

“Uncle, what do we do?”

“I shall handle it nephew. You can wait outside for me, if you would like.”

Absolutely not.

“What if he’s about to go into the Avatar State and then you disturb him?”

“I have experience dealing with spirits, Nephew, not to worry.”

If Uncle was sure. 

He stayed out of the way, but he did not leave the room as Uncle shook the Avatar out of his meditation and hustled him out of the shop. There were no glowing tattoos or eyes to be seen, thank Agni.   
___

“Guys, Katara was right! Zuko and his uncle are totally mindbent!” 

“Aang, shhhhh!!”

“Oh, right. Sorry, Sokka, but I’m serious.”

“Okay, Twinkle Toes, tell us what happened.”

“It was so weird! Every time Zuko came to refill my teacup I tried to insult him like how I did with Zhao to get him to destroy his own ships.”

“You what?”

Before Aang could answer her, Sokka cut in, “I’ll explain later Toph. That was a risky play, Aang. How did it go?”

“He didn’t even react!”

“Well, I mean, your trash talk is pretty terrible, Twinkle Toes.”

It was not! Aang shot a glance toward Katara, she would defend him. She knew the story with Zhao and everything.

“Sorry, Aang, but I’m with Toph on this one. Your work with Admiral Zhao was the exception, not the rule.”

Wow. Well, whatever, he would just tell them what he said. Then they’d see. 

“My insults were really good this time! I swear! First, I called him a girl because I remember how much it used to upset Sokka.”

The others each made faces at that. Aang usually wouldn’t have brought Sokka’s past fault up, but they had asked him to explain his insults. 

He had to admit, that one really was a pretty trash insult. He had forgotten that the Fire Nation was actually more like the Air Nomads than the other nations in that they didn’t see women as inferior. Actually, the Fire Nation didn’t recognize any difference between the cultural roles of men and women. Bizarre. 

“My next insults were even better! Then I told him he was even worse at chasing me the Zhao was.”

“Alright, that’s it, as soon as we’re done with this conversation you guys are going to tell me who this person is.”

Aang gave her a nod, knowing she would feel it. “Of course, Toph. Anyway, after he still didn’t react, the next time he came to the table, I called him a traitor.”

At that, Toph let out a whistle. 

“If someone front the Fire Nation didn’t react to that, they probably are mindbent.”

Exactly! Sokka and Katara didn’t look like they agreed, but they still didn’t really know anything about the Fire Nation. Aang had been shocked that Zuko hadn’t stabbed him. 

Oh, he’d forgotten. “They didn’t even make me pay for the tea!”

“What? They made me pay.”

“Sorry, Katara. I guess there are just some perks that come with being the Avatar.”

Not many, but he’d take what he could get. 

“Well, if only the Avatar gets special discounts, it’s a good thing the government here has given us an allowance. We’re not digging into our savings for tea. Now, tell me about this Zhao guy.”

Aang let Katara and Sokka tell the story. 

He wasn’t sure how he felt, leaving Zuko like this. Aang wasn’t stupid. Zuko could have killed him plenty of times. He’d always been careful to take Aang alive, and he’d never been cruel in those moments when Aang was his captive. It was more kindness than some of Aang’s allies had shown him. 

He thinks of Zuko’s smile today, and he remembers Koh’s smiling faces. He thinks this might be worse. Koh had stolen their faces. The Dai Li had stolen Zuko’s mind. 

But for all Zuko might not have been as cruel as he could be, Aang remembered the faces of terrified children at the South Pole, on Kyoshi Island, all along their journey. Aang thinks of the children he saw in the tea shop today. Running right by Zuko’s legs and smiling. 

Sokka had said they had to think of the people of Ba Sing Se. 

Li’s life wasn’t so bad. 

It wasn’t cruel to leave him to it. 

It couldn’t be.


	5. Toph's First Shift

Another day, another child. Is it a valid plan for keeping tabs on Zuko? Yes. Does he hate it? Also yes. 

She isn’t even wearing shoes. It isn’t uncommon for earthbending soldiers or peasants to go without them, but in the city, the least someone of her standing could do is wear the popular soleless shoe-tops. Besides being fashionable, hiding your bending was practical. The element of surprise was never to be underestimated. 

He should probably just let this go, but, “must you be completely barefoot?”

“Why shouldn’t I be?”

“You’re the heir to the Bei Fong family.”

“So? The only people who care if the heir to the Bei Fong family wears shoes all the time are members of high society.”

“Isn’t that a reason why you should be wearing shoes?”

“Why would I care what they think?”

“Aren’t you going to have to deal with them when you’re an adult?”

“Nah. I think I’m going to lead the family in a different direction.”

“The way your family operates now is incredibly successful. It has brought you all great wealth.”

“Exactly. The way we operate now is geared almost solely toward acquiring money.”

“Don’t you want to have money?”

“Eh. It always seemed overrated to me.”

Zuko doesn’t think he understands. He remembers his childhood when he wanted for nothing. Then he remembers his ship, and a budget that never stretched far enough. He remembers eating only as much as his crew, and then less than his crew, trying desperately to make it to his next allowance. 

He remembers riding through vast stretches of the Earth Kingdom, seeing his once proud uncle forced to beg, and then being reduced to little more than a common thief himself.

“You didn’t enjoy life at the Gaoling estate?”

Didn’t enjoy living with the parents that he had heard adored her? Didn’t enjoy a full belly, and a warm hearth?

“My parents refused to let me do anything but baby katas.”

Zuko had heard something about that. He hadn’t thought the rumor credible.

He remembered when Mom had tried to limit Azula’s practice to what she deemed appropriate. Maybe most children Azula’s age would have been happy to be rescued from their tutor’s assigned practice, but Azula had begged Mother to reconsider. It was one of Zuko’s few memories of Azula crying. 

He had found her in one of the seldom-used courtyards, sobbing and tearing at her hair after getting caught trying to practice again. He knew his mother wouldn’t have approved of what he was about to do. She didn’t even like it when Zuko climbed the tree by the turtle-duck pond, but she had often asked Zuko to be a good big brother and to protect his sister, so.

Zuko had taught her how to get to the palace roof, and shown her a flat area that wasn’t visible from the ground. It meant he wouldn’t be able to practice where no one could find him anymore, but even now, with everything that had happened between them since, when he remembered how happy she had been that day, he thought he had made the right choice. 

So maybe Zuko did understand why this girl would be so eager to throw away the trappings of her old life; it must have seemed like a gilded prison.

Still, if Zuko was given the choice, he might choose a regular prison to starvation, but then, there was no shortage of people who had told Zuko that he was a coward. 

“I still don’t understand why you’re so opposed to shoes,” and he opens the door before she can remind him any more of his sister. 

She takes a booth and waits patiently while he opens. Once the shop is ready for customers, she orders a drink, and except to ask for refills, she doesn’t speak to him for the rest of the day. 

That isn’t to say that Zuko is able to ignore her. 

He knows it would be the smart thing to do. He knows that Li is a nonbender, and would have seen plenty of earthbending before besides, but he couldn’t help himself. Zuko hadn’t seen much earthbending before. Not like this, at least.

She had pulled out a section of the wall by her table, but before Zuko had managed to start yelling at her to put it back, she had bent it into an incredibly intricate little city. 

He had always wondered how her earthbending sight worked, and now he was even more curious because that little town looked perfect. 

Throughout the day, she continued earthbending. Sometimes it was more replica cities, which the more he saw, the more he was convinced were accurate replicas of real cities, which was mind-blowing. Sometimes she made little figurine people or animals. All of them looked perfect. It was astounding. 

When she made a hippo-croc, he straight up tripped over his feet. Not many people saw them in real life and lived. They were quick, and territorial, and deadly. Her earth figurine, quickly made and destroyed shortly after, was probably the most accurate representation on the planet, for the short time it existed. There were people who would have paid fortunes or literally killed to possess it. Damn. 

Zuko knows that fire can be used to make shapes; he’s seen it made into dragons at plenty of festivals. He never could have asked how to do it, of course. He was the crown prince; he couldn’t waste time on such frivolous bending. Especially since he needed to be figuring out how to catch up to Azula. 

Last he’d seen them, Mai and Ty Lee had been well, and seemed reasonably happy. Maybe Azula wouldn’t be as terrible of a ruler as he feared. After all, people were more useful than turtle-ducks; there was more to lose by setting them on fire. 

Maybe he didn’t need to save the Fire Nation from his sister, and if he didn’t need to beat one of the greatest firebenders alive in a duel for the throne, then maybe it was okay that his bending would never measure up to that of his family’s. Maybe Zuko could afford to indulge this curiosity. 

Zuko allows himself to all but outright stare at the girl for as long as she’s in the shop. He appreciates the sculptures but pays more attention to the movements of her arms and hands. 

Her movements are so subtle. How is she doing it? How could he do it? Would that twitch of her fingers affect the element the same way if it was fire?

He’s glad Uncle is in the back, and can’t see how clumsy he’s being today, barely paying attention to his work.

He delays closing the shop as long as possible, not asking her to pay her tab until the last possible second.   
___

Toph buys some food on her way home. It was a shame the tea shop didn’t sell snacks, but they’d have to hire a cook if they wanted to sell anything good. Employees weren’t worth the risk if you were trying to stay under the radar. 

She takes her time on the walk back. When possible, she likes to get her thoughts in order before she gives them a voice. 

She times it well. She gets to the house just as Sokka comes back from wherever he went on his off day. 

He adjusts his course to knock lightly into her on his way to the door, and they enter the house together. Aang and Katara are waiting in the front room, convenient. No need to waste time with pleasantries. Time to get right down to what they were all interested in. 

“It is possible that he’s mindbent. He had at least low-grade anxiety all day, and he never took his attention off me for long. Still, he could just be a nervous person or stressed by our presence. You’ve all known him longer than I have. Do you think it’s possible that he was just normal-scared?”

Not that Toph could really trust sighted people to really be able to tell something like that very well, but it was the best source she had at the moment. 

“I have never seen him scared in my life,” was Aang’s comment.

“Me neither. He once broke into the North Pole on a full moon,” Katara began, and let her brother expand further on why that was significant. 

“Unless he swam, which almost certainly would have killed him, it would have been impossible to get to where Aang was without facing at least one master waterbender. Although, he did look beaten up enough to have taken one on, if he’d gotten lucky enough that they only got a few hits in, somehow. Either way, a person prone to fear would never have taken those sorts of risks." 

“And then he walked through a full-blown blizzard, like an actual crazy person!” Katara added to Sokka’s story, seemingly shocked that Sokka had left that part out. “It’s a miracle he didn’t die. He would have died if we hadn’t gotten him to shelter after he passed out.”

Toph had a feeling there were some missing pieces to that story, a frustration she was growing very familiar with, recently. Still, none of what they said actually proves their point very well. People don’t go to such extreme measures for no reason; one of the most common motivators for such suicidal stunts is fear. 

Still, no point asking if they knew what his motivation really was. She could already tell that they didn’t know. Man, how did these guys survive without her?

She wishes she had paid more attention to the gossip from the occasional Fire Nation merchants her parents had hosted. They had likely mentioned quite a bit about their Crown Prince, but at the time, she hadn’t figured that information could ever possibly have any use for her. She had preferred to spend the time her parents were distracted practicing. 

“He did seem concerned about when his uncle got hurt, I guess.” Which was one of the weakest arguments she had ever heard Twinkle Toes make, and he made a lot of weak arguments.

Sokka spoke her objection to that quite well, “Sure, but that’s not really the same thing as being a fearful person. He certainly didn’t seem afraid during the fight.”

It was a bit embarrassing, but Toph wasn’t used to having to focus on more than just one opponent at a time, much less having to focus on a non-stage environment and her allies too. It was a lot, and there had been a bit of a learning curve. 

All of that to say, she doesn’t know if Zuko was scared or not back in Tu Zin, and once his uncle had been hit, he was feeling so much at once, it would have been difficult to sort it all out even if she had had the presence of mind to try. She hadn’t thought of it. 

Next time, she would do better. She would not allow her lack of experience to put her friends in danger. She would pull her own weight, and figuring out Zuko would be a perfect way to do it.

But she wasn’t going to say something soppy like that out loud. “Whatever. Your turn next, Sokka.”

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic. Yee Haw.  
> Also not beta read, so drop a line if something doesn't make any sense.
> 
> [Tumblr Link](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/rebelliousbeesao3) if you want to get the occasional post discussing updates, research I have to do for this, or a spoiler or two.


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